My dad died today. 18 years ago.
I still remember the call in the shockingly early morning hours. To this day I’m terrified if my phone rings after 1am. I remember my mom’s voice and I remember hearing someone scream and thinking how primal it was. I didn’t know it was coming from my own mouth. I remember my roommate having to take the phone because I couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. I remember going next door and crawling in to my boyfriend’s bed and asking him to not say anything. The day before, a friend that lived on our floor in the dorm had found out her best friend had died of a heart attack at 19. My boyfriend just looked at her and said “that sucks.”. I remembered lecturing him on how callous that sounded and how god forbid anything bad ever happened to me, would he please just remain silent? Who knew it would be less than 24 hours before that request would need to be honored. Continue reading “Polyester Gym Shorts & Losing My Dad.”